I can't even go two hours without making myself feel like crap. I was doing so good this morning, feeling so stupidly happy, and here I am. I made the accident of looking in the mirror as I was changing and I instantly wanted to chop everything off. It all just hangs off of me and I can't help but hate myself more and more because if I had stuck with my original plan a month ago I'd be further from where I am now and I feel so disgusting. >.<
This is one of those low of the low moments. My mom is requiring my serves later, so I have to go get her and get groceries. I'm going to avoid food the rest of the day. I'll probably have a cup of coffee later.
I don't even know why I let myself get this way. The stupidity of it all is that there is this boy who likes me (at least I think he does). But he's really tall and skinny and I don't understand it because I can't even love myself so how can I expect others to love me? I can't bring myself to think I'm good enough for him so I won't let him get close enough to me.
What kind of fucked up world is in my head. -_-
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